Citizen Brand: A Kansas Wedding

It was a very special wedding. My oldest son, Brady, and his fiancee, Alicia exchanged vows on a breezy, but dry day, in the Kansas countryside on Saturday, May 27. This was truly their wedding. They planned every detail and worked hard, along with a lot of help from friends and family along the way, to make sure the day was perfect. And it was.

We began with a dinner party Friday night for the wedding party and immediate family of the bride and groom. My wife, Char, is a party planner extraordinaire and everyone had a great time. It was a nice and mellow beginning to the weekend and gave everyone a chance to catch their breath after months of planning and work in anticipation of the big day.

The wedding and reception was held on 160 acres of land on the northeastern edge of the Kansas Flint Hills in Shawnee County. It was Alicia's family home. Her mother, Marcia and father, Bruce, bought the land in 1976 and Alicia and her brother and sisters all were raised there. Alicia's father passed away five years ago and this wedding took on special meaning for Marcia, Alicia and the whole family.

It is an understatement for me to say what it meant to me and my family as well. As I have discussed here before, I am blessed with two wonderful sons. Watching Brady grow up, graduate from KU, spend two years in the Peace Corps in Guyana and now be married has given me nothing short of pure joy. To me, Saturday's ceremony and party were like a celebration of these first 27 years of his life.

My youngest son, Blake, was Brady's best man. He gave a wonderful toast Saturday night that was so insightful into the relationship between my two sons. It is close and deep and for that I am eternally grateful. He talked about how Brady and Alicia are showing all of us what a real loving relationship can look like. And he's right.

It's difficult to explain how special the ceremony was in writing, but there was one element that was particularly touching. It is called hanfasting. A long piece of ornamental cloth was placed over Alicia's and Brady's clasped hands. Then each parent was called up to tie a knot in the cloth and say a few personal words to the bride and groom. It was a great way to involve all the parents and gave us a moment to share with them. Then before they said their vows to each other, Alicia and Brady went into the crowd and visited briefly with each of their family members.

They read their personally written vows to each other, both making it through despite the high emotions of the moment. Then their good friend, Adam Holm, who presided over the wedding, pronounced them officially married and the celebration could begin. There were surprises yet to come. For example, instead of a guest book, they have a picture guest book. A digital camera was set up on a side porch with a red backdrop and a box full of props. All of us took turns grabbing a prop and having a fun picture taken that becomes the official guest book for the wedding.

Instead of a single wedding cake, they asked several people to bake their favorite cakes or cupcakes and bring them. And as a tribute to Alicia's father, Bruce, Brady and a good friend put together a video montage set to music. It was made of pictures of Brady and Alicia with their parents and family and friends throughout their lives. And then the dancing began and went on into the night as the stars came out overhead and welcomed Brady and Alicia to a new part of their life.

They actually have one more ceremony coming up. They leave for their honeymoon in early June with a stop in the Caribbean and then on to Guyana and Brady's former Peace Corps post on Leguan Island. His friends there are probably getting very excited for his return and are planning a beautiful Hindu wedding ceremony for he and Alicia.

There have been so many emotions running through my mind these past few days. But on Sunday, I told Char that I had an overpowering sense of serenity knowing that I now had a child that was married. I can't explain it but I know I felt it. I think it may be because I can see how truly happy they are together and how much they respect and love each other. And that is all that matters.

6 Comments

Beautifully told, Mike. Congratulations. Although I am not looking forward to the experience with my daughter. She's 13. A long way to go. Yet not. It all goes by too fast.

Posted by: ernie | Tuesday, May 30, 2006 at 01:08 PM

Thanks Ernie. It does go fast but as long as you realize that it goes fast, you will have a great chance of making sure you enjoy all the moments along the way. I have the entire weekend indelibly impressed into my mind.

Posted by: Mike Swenson | Tuesday, May 30, 2006 at 10:20 PM